Well, the application is long since turned in, and as may be expected, all manner of self doubt is now vying for my attention. So what to do? Focus elsewhere, I guess. I’ve pulled a stack of books out in an effort to finally get through my purchased-with-the-intent-to-read reading list (close to the top of course, is my beloved Don Miller; whom, it should be noted, I shall continue to read aloud–although I no longer have an audience. Don Miller is just better read aloud.) I’ve pulled out an un-finished Bible study, and a couple others that I may soon start.
All manner of avoidance aside, I still dwell on the persistent thought that I am not good enough to go to seminary. Not smart enough, not talented enough, too uneducated in all things theological; mundane rather than profound. No number of Don Miller’s lovely chaper/essays will convince me otherwise, no matter how funny they are read aloud.
So, it’s back to plan A. Pray. Trust. Hold on with both hands. Cause either way, I’m not going to make it through this thing alive based on myself alone.